The Light of Day

Bric-a-brac (revised)

2011-01-16T18:27:00.001-08:00

What if bric-a-brac were not benign,
But plotted plans of evil design,
Together in twos, or private pairs,
In hand-sized hide-outs and little lairs?

What if behind those smiling faces,
Of clever cuteness and cunning graces,
Lurked latent lies and tiny traces,
Till now unseen by human races?

What if they conspired, schemed, and contrived,
Busy as bees in a big bee-hive;
And one day, unveiled in declaration,
All their plans of world domination?!

Shipwrecked

2011-01-03T18:05:00.001-08:00

like committing the horizon to paper
and fixing its intangible points to a graph,
who can map out the subtle lines of beauty
or mark down where she begins and ends?
those who have found themselves within her waters
or navigated through the paths of her sea,
are lost to the world around them
and swallowed up in a siren's dream.

and still she calls to me.

who can match her maddening gaze
or take her by the hand as one would a lover?
who would stare at the sun or extend
a hand to the waves of the sea?

and still she calls to me.

come winds! beat the hull of my heart!
come tides! throw me against her distant shores!
and i'll be the happy stranded,
and gladly join the joyfully lost!

China Revisited

2010-12-10T19:45:00.000-08:00

Shanghai - Part 1

China's recent desire to be Di Yi Ci (number one) on the world stage in finance, military, urbanization and well, every area imaginable coupled with it's limitless labor pool and driving sense of national pride, have redefined not only its image but its reality as well. And this truly historic revolution of Chinese industry, technology, and urbanization, though occurring all over the country, is most recognizable here in Shanghai.

This city is huge. It's recent growth and expansion are somewhat of a microcosmic Big Bang.

Shanghai boasts of over 20 million residents. And with its modern skyline, booming economy, well-developed public transportation system, and relatively well-developed infrastructure, it can hold its own with any other major world metropolis.

However, the greatest challenge for this city, in my opinion, is not sustainability, or maintaining free market practices in a controlling government, or even keeping up with appropriate health and safety standards. It's compassion.

The Sibilance of Civil Sybil

2010-11-03T06:39:00.001-07:00

Civil Sybil smelled of dribble,
Not the sort of spit that’s little
But the binding rings of boring things
Which chained her name, without acquittal—
To Civil Sybil.

She seized her days like marmalaise
And proliferated her interests, glazed
Over and over like many motors
Humming her name in puttering praise—
Civil Sybil, Civil Sybil, Civil Sybil.

Like a...

2009-09-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

garrulous gaggle of geese. mad murder of crows. frightful flange of baboons. noisy knot of frogs. constricting cloud of gnats. savvy shiver of sharks. crazed crash of rhinos.

In other words, things that come to mind while thinking about last night. I joke, I joke. Really, it wasn't that bad. This was simply my first impression as nearly all of my grade 1 parents crowded themselves into my office last night for Back to School Night.

We talked. We ate. We sang. We danced.
They played the harp while I, entranced,
Mused upon their melodies,
And thought of a thousand....felonies.

the sauna and the unsaintly swarmers

2009-08-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

well, it's good to be back in shanghai although it's much like walking around in your own thermal bathhouse. really, you can't get away from the sweat. and of course, along with this oppressively irriguous weather, come the millions of "mini bats" that some people kindly refer to as mosquitoes or, wenzi, in chinese.

which reminds me. the other night, we went out to eat at a new teppanyaki restaurant close to our apartment and were visited (or ambushed i should say) by more wenzi than we could want or handle. and as i was being attacked on all sides, i glanced at our chef; who looked from me to one of the diminutive predators beyond my grasp with a look that said, "if i wasn't, at this moment, making your garlic chicken i would hop over this grill and quash them all with my spatula!". and i was comforted.

home

2009-08-17T00:23:00.000-07:00

like saturday reruns, mom's cooking, or hanging out with your brother after many years being apart...there really is no place like home.

hanging his feet over the edge of the house, they fell a bit closer to the ground. the oak didn't tower so high. the yard didn't spread out to the horizon. and the path up to the garage didn't go on for miles. but the smells, the sights, the sounds, and the old thoughts, were never sweeter. in those brief moments, his mind kept up with the sun and clung on to the good and his memories became days without nights.

it's good to be back.

they sparkle and they shine

2009-01-25T06:44:00.000-08:00

these nights have a special glow to them for so many millions of chinese families. with each pop and rain of fiery glitter, they welcome in the new year with style, and with hope.

setting off fireworks for chun jie is more than just a release of celebratory emotion, it comes from age-old practice and tradition. farmers once believed that a great spirit called nian (year) would come each year to terrorize them. but, as legend has it, they discovered that the big, bad spirit was afraid of two things: the color red and loud noises. hence the red everything and the brilliant (and incessant) display of luminescent sky confetti.

last night, suz and i sat on our balcony and enjoyed the show. for 4 straight hours hundreds of fireworks were shot off both near and far while chinese families sat in their homes making dumplings together and handing out hongbao (red envelopes with money). what a great holiday.

these nights sparkle and they shine!

st.ol(d)en

2009-01-22T03:22:00.000-08:00

(big)in just is
merry's ('k) not.
sound. (lessly) noosed.
in his screwtiny.
bound. yes. goosed.
in 0 sense
lost (end).

Living in the Shadows

2009-01-17T05:55:00.000-08:00

There are many things common and uncommon in this world that confound me...taxes, people who like black licorice, women, and death would comprise parts of the common list. High-ranking on the uncommon list (besides the northern lights and male seahorses) would have to be trafficking children for the purpose of sexual exploitation.

Russia

A new sun of promise is rising in Russia. With its increasing GDP (now 6th in the world), expanding markets, and lowering unemployment rate (6% in 2007), the Russian Federation has many things of which to be proud. But behind this bright sun trails a few sinister shadows. One of these shadows is human trafficking. And more specifically, child trafficking for pornography and prostitution. According to the CIA World Factbook, Russia remains a major source, transit, and destination for trafficking on all levels, especially for the sex trade. It has also remained on the tier 2 watchlist since 2003 for its inefficiency in dealing with this growing epidemic.

Below is a video illustrating the reality of this crime as well as the struggle and plight of its victims.

Street Children in China

2009-01-13T05:44:00.000-08:00

China to Help More Street Children

China opened its first pilot protection center for street children in 1995. By 2003, the central government had spent more than 120 million yuan (US$14.5 million) to establish more than 130 special protection centers providing short-term shelter and education for urban street kids. They have helped more than 10,000 children, said Li Liguo, vice minister of the Civil Affairs. (Xinhua News Agency March 7, 2005)

Zhengzhou Centre Reaches Out with Care and Support for Street Children.

The Chinese Ministry of Civil Affairs estimates that there are about 150,000 street children in China. The real number, however, could be much higher and is on the rise.

“Based on our research, family problems such as divorce are the major cause of children leaving home,” said Deputy Director Xie Xiaowei of the Zhengzhou Street Children Protection Centre, a local governmental partner of UNICEF. “Many children from the rural areas also want to get a job in the big cities. But because they lack education and skills, when the money runs out, they often end up on the streets.”

UNICEF and the government are working to expand the programme for street children from Zhengzhou to the rest of China... (by Kun Li)

Chinese policy reaction to the problem of street children: An analysis from the perspective of street children

The effectiveness of the government-managed Protection and Education Centre for Street Children program in China was examined based on a 7-month ethnographic study of street children in public streets and at the centre in Shanghai. The program's intermediate goals are to provide education and protection for street children, and its ultimate goal is to restore them back to their own families. However, this study shows that most of the street children disliked the high security of the centre and many had rejected going home. So they tended to keep away from the centre even though it could provide them with lodging and food. (Debbie Lam and Fucai Cheng)

30 minutes to home

2008-09-29T01:11:00.000-07:00

i'm off. i zoom. i stop. i swerve. i spot. i check. i honk. i double-check. i slow. i speed up. i signal. i slam. i honk. i breathe. i grimace. i cough. i turn. i squint. i look. i go. i accelerate. i honk. i glance. i flinch. i dodge. i brake. i sigh. i go on. i look back. i smile. i speed. i'm home.

the world is magnanimous

2008-09-23T18:15:00.000-07:00

unbegrudgingly, i look out my window, crystal, castle: sky.
anddelightingme,
my hearty heart loudwhispering (says)
"go live!"

for the world is a rose that grows and grows magnanimously.

all-widening summer's golden bow of truth: it’s cosmic smile,
gladinfinitely...
i say: “instant yesses and unsecond-guesses make life ‘living’, jeff,
so live!”

for the world is a rose that grows and grows magnanimously!

With Hope

2008-09-22T18:33:00.000-07:00

the previous post titled, "bi jiao" was a weak attempt at showing the contrast between the greatest gap in china...the gap between the extremely rich and the extremely poor. and in truth, the poorest of the poor in rural china would not be able to learn eng. much less anything close to resembling what is being taught their fortunate counterparts.

in an extremely interesting and insightful paper from the economics dept. of dalhousie university, three students show the alarming trends of the poor (and the poorly educated) in china:

"Between 1991 and 2000...income inequality grew rapidly in China. The disappearance in the 1990s of subsidized food coupons in China has increased the importance of money income poverty in enabling consumption of basic foods by poor families. Chinese society has experienced both rapid growth in average incomes and rising economic inequality. Greater inequality in money incomes and reduced social protection can both be expected to increase the real economic deprivation of the least well-off." (http://economics.dal.ca/RePEc/dal/wparch/WIDER_Nov_18_2007.pdf)

in other words, those with little or no means of any self-support lost the little that they had (which, at least, had been given to them by the government). for those who live in dire poverty, it truly is a vicious cycle. they have no money, so they have no means to receive education, and therefore have little hope of bettering themselves or their children.

on a more positive note, "'China is scheduled to offer nine year compulsory education free to children in rural areas starting from 2006.' Premier Wen Jiabao announced (in 2005) addressing the 'Fifth High Level Group Meeting on Education For All' sponsored by UNESCO." however, the same govt. article later states that "China plans to offer nine-year education free to children in its rural areas by 2010 and nationwide by 2015." so, as is the case with many things in china, it's unclear as to exactly when stated policy will become an observable reality. but, as they say, the great wall wasn't built in a day.

bi jiao

2008-09-16T18:05:00.000-07:00

i open eyes. sun is where? move hands. again. again. my hungry. smell rice out burning. many class today. my clothes yi yang. i at school is home. no wash. book is know where? (big place up and down). nage, nage, nage bi? pencil. today, white man is come. white man many, many wash.

i wake up. refreshed. the sun is big and beautiful. ugh, the heater is still on. it's been going all night. i walk downstairs and eat breakfast. a few pieces of fruit and some pork dumplings. yum. and my favorite cartoon is on! the driver can wait. i jump in the shower. change clothes. where is that book? (of kingdoms conquering and being conquered)? and my new pencil case and markers? a foreign man is coming today. i heard that they bathe 3 times a day.

if i turn my head 90 degrees...

2008-09-04T20:44:00.000-07:00

if i turn my head 90 degrees to the right i see a row of dilapidated apartment buildings: cement, multi-colored, faded. one is the yellow-green hue of a turtle's underbelly (except with pink trim, of course). another is off-white. another is red as red river dirt. below and to the front are a few shanties that would give the hoover homes a run for their lack of money. every now and then, though, a tenant comes out to water a plant or hang clothes to dry in the sun. flush against these living quarters, and spread all around, is a junk yard. a steel garden. a vehicle cemetery. and yet, just a stone's throw beyond all of this complex urban scenery are a few business sky-rises, standing tall, alone, nearly unapproachable...

miraclesandmayhem

2008-08-31T18:59:00.000-07:00

the great Red Rooster crows and the crowds swell. a traffic patrolman stands like Moses at the edge of a sea of cars, parting the way for an enormous exodus of emigrating workers. winding in and out of preoccupied passerby. darting like harried hummingbirds with no time to rest and no tune to hum to except the incessant drone of motors--big, small, and in-between. now in between the barbarous "no-blinker" bus veering hard left and the too-much toting tuk tuk taking his "sweet sunday-strolling suprised that there could be anyone else on my road" time. :) it's monday morning and there's a miracle a minute in the mini-metropolis where i live.

10-Gallon Dreams

2008-06-17T00:33:00.001-07:00

Last night,
I made a deal with Texas,
As bonnets blue by wind were swept,
And sanguine sagebrush laughed and leapt,
Over and across the dusty plains,
Here and there through tough terrains
And back again—and then the same—
Like shadows in my mind.

Last night,
She whispered in my dreams as
Stars like spurs shone soft and slept,
And blue-tailed comets kindly crept,
Over and across the star-dust skies,
Here and there through far and wide,
And back again, so I replied:
“Sweet shadows” in my mind.

(painting-Leese West-TX starry night)

2:28

2008-05-19T22:03:00.000-07:00

It's amazing. how certain. uncertainty is. and. when it happens. to happen. insignificant. things. become significant. like 2:28. it was always there. once nothing. now defining. once little. and overlooked. now looming. and hard to forget. when time. like 70,000 hearts. stop.

she's the one

2008-03-04T04:48:00.000-08:00

the one. that has a nice ring to it (yes. yes she does). as far as rings go (and i've heard they go on for eternity). i told her she was the one. not "my second" or "my better half". just and simply and only and exclusively "the one". i mean i have two favorite ice creams and two favorite colors (as far as shades go). but not her. she's the spectrum at full tilt. and the pot at the end. yeah, i've found gold even at her lowest point. she's the one when the little ones make us think that addition is not always a plus. she's the one when two comes and says she's double of what i got. she's the one when eleven tries to deceive me with her profile. besides, it wouldn't matter anyway, because she's not just "a one" or "number one". she's in a category all by herself. yep. she's the one.

"Never lose a holy curiosity" -Einstein

2008-01-21T22:15:00.000-08:00

Surely there is a mine for silver
And a place where they refine gold.
Iron is taken from the dust,
And copper is smelted from rock.
Man puts an end to darkness,
And to the farthest limit he searches out
The rock in gloom and deep shadow.
He sinks a shaft far from habitation,
Forgotten by the foot;
They hang and swing to and fro far from men.
The earth, from it comes food,
And underneath it is turned up as fire.
Its rocks are the source of sapphires,
And its dust contains gold.
The path no bird of prey knows,
Nor has the falcon’s eye caught sight of it.
The proud beasts have not trodden it,
Nor has the fierce lion passed over it.
He puts his hand on the flint;
He overturns the mountains at the base.
He hews out channels through the rocks,
And his eye sees anything precious.
He dams up the streams from flowing,
And what is hidden he brings out to the light.
(excerpt of a monologue from Job)

"Never lose your holy curiosity!"

See the deep, dark parts of magnum terra,
See the far-flung reaches of the spacial abyss,
See the universe charged with light and mystery!
See the wonders cloaked in the ocean depths.
Seek! and in all your searching,
Never lose a holy curiosity.

*Picture: Pre-Dawn Launch of Space Shuttle Columbia (STS-109)

On this Night of Merry Wonderment

2008-01-04T00:01:00.001-08:00

Bells ring…
Fortune’s footfalls—merely creeps, merrily peeps,
Night falls.
Out from their lil’ toothless heads’ headless lil’ beds—
Bright calls—
Shouts-loud! All unhides child’s eyes; presides piles-prized,
Lights! Balls!
Mouths round, now round the merry rebound soundly,
And sing.

"All thinking men are atheists." -Hemingway

2007-12-26T18:24:00.000-08:00

Really?

Thomas Aquinas, Italian Catholic Priest, philosopher and theologian, extolled by James Joyce to be second only to Aristotle among Western philosophers.

Aristotle, Greek philosopher and possibly the greatest influencer of Western thought, saw God as the "Unmoved Mover".

Renee Descartes, influential French philosopher, founder of Analytical Geometry and Modern Philosophy, defender of the faith

Albert Einstein, German scientist and revolutionizer of modern Physics, reported by many friends and reputable biographers to be a believer in a literal God.
(also see en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein)

Isaac Newton, British Anglican, founder of Classical Physics

Galileo Galilei, Italian Catholic, astronomer, philosopher, and mathemetician

Nicolas Copernicus, Polish Catholic, founder of Heliocentric Cosmology

Max Planck, German Protestant, Nobel Laureate in Physics for his work on thermodynamics

Louis Pasteur, Catholic, brilliant French chemist and founder of Microbology and Immunology

T.S. Eliot, British Anglican, Nobel Laureate in Literature

Gerard Manley Hopkins, British Jesuit priest, creator and innovator in poetry

C.S. Lewis, British Anglican, prolific writer, thinker, and apologist

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Russian Orthodox, founder of 20th century Existentialism and (arguably) one of the greatest novelists of all time

(indebted to www.adherents.com)

Even the famous atheist and French philosopher, Jean Paul Sartre, had his moments of clarity:

In a separate 1974 interview with Simone de Beauvoir, Sartre said that "I do not feel that I am the product of chance, a speck of dust in the universe, but someone who was expected, prepared, prefigured. In short, a being whom only a Creator could put here; and this idea of a creating hand refers to God." But immediately adds that "this is not a clear, exact idea…" (wikipedia)

Death and Winter Come Each Year

2007-12-23T21:48:00.000-08:00

Death and Winter come each year...
Who invited them anyway?
Are they friends?
Do they have each other over for dinner,
And swap homicidal stories?
Do they make pithy comments
While reading Poe? in mocked pathos?
In the evening, do they “sit on the ground and
Tell happy stories of the death of kings”?
Have they made a List like Nicolaus?
Are you on it?
Am I?

The Strange Life of Dr. Normal

2007-12-11T16:51:00.001-08:00

"The boars of France! The boars of France!" He screams into the night. His trembling, naked body glistens with sweat in the half-moonlight. His heart is pounding. His pulse rising. A look of horror contorts his shadowed face. Somewhere, in the distance, a baby is crying for its mother. And still, all he can force out is, "The boars of France!"

He darts frantically into an empty alleyway. There is a brief but violent struggle...then nothing.

A few hours later, he wakes up, stretched out on the ground like a slab of butcher's meat. A deep, guttural moan steals from him almost involuntarily as he tries to move. His hand accidentally knocks against his side and waves of electric pain rip through him until he almost loses consciousness for the second time. He takes a few deep breaths to try and calm himself and regain some sort of composure--though it would be considered fragile at best. Then he gently, but deftly, moves his left hand to his hip...waits two interminable seconds...and in one swift, brave motion grabs hold of the alien protrusion, and yanks it from his side.

The moon showers its soft sympathetic glow on the slumbering earth 240,000 miles below her...on its sleeping children and on the quiet shelters they call homes...on everything that's sound and sane in this world...while Dr. Normal gazes long and hard--and in sheer terror--at the bright, blood-stained ivory fang in his hand!

On God being blameless

2007-11-26T23:45:00.000-08:00

*in a previous post i wrote that God was blameless, and then offered that this statement was predicated entirely on His love. i admit that this was written primarily in defense of God's relationship with mankind but feel that it suffices as an explanation (and justification) of the more comprehensive view of His nature and character as well; for "God is love" and "love is the fulfillment of the Law."

A few years ago, I was driving in my car and I came across a radio station and there was a preacher talking about God and how He wasn't to blame for the terrible things both in our lives and in this world. To make a long story short, he summed it up in this (paraphrased) parable:

"Imagine a home. In this home there is a father, a mother, and two children. Now, imagine that a criminal breaks into the home with a knife and begins to murder the children, rape the mother, and take off with all the family's possessions. And yet, while all of this is happening, the father does nothing but sit and watch. He does nothing to try and save his family. Now, (without beginning to argue this analogy's theological implications) what would we say about this father? Honestly, what would we think about a father who stood by as his family was destroyed right in front of his eyes? We would think that he was the worst father in the world. And yet, this is exactly what some Christians (unknowingly) imply about God when they say that He is sovereign over the earth and in control of everything and that He has some mysterious plan and reason for this child dying with leukemia or that child being brutally raped or this school being shot up, or that entire people group being wiped out in ruthless genocide, etc. They don't realize what an indictment against God's love this is! How could we ever think that someone who would love us so much so as to give up their own "flesh and blood" would ever want or allow all kinds of evil in our lives for some better purpose? How could we say that a loving, heavenly Father would give His Son one moment and then in the next give us a cancer to teach us something? That just doesn't compute!"

Jesus used similar logic in the sermon on the mount: "Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father who is in heaven give to those who ask Him!" basically Jesus is saying that if messed up humans know that a loving earthly father does good things for his children and not evil things, then why would we ever think less of our heavenly Father? (James 1:13-17; Jer. 29:11; 1 John 3:16; Rom. 8:32; 1 John 4:8)

what will we say when we stand before Him? what accusation will we be able to level against Him in the face of all that He has done? when we realize that we (humans) were the father in the parable and not God? (Rom. 5:12; Rom. 3:23; Hosea 4:6; Gen. 1:26,28; Ps. 8)

What does it mean to be a kid?

2007-11-25T20:24:00.000-08:00

it means talking to yourself - with impunity. it means not just making a simple pass to your friend on the soccer field, but incorporating a crazy kungfu kick and hand motion all at the same time (hi-ya!). it means not needing a song (or a reason) to dance. it means making a random noise and then repeating it over and over again with infinite pleasure and self-satisfaction. it means having your bestest friend become your worstest enemy (and then bestest friend again) all in a matter of 30 seconds. it means being in awe over the commonest of things; like patterns on the floor made by light thrown through a window. it means continually discovering something, creating with next to nothing, and loving everything.

Eremia

2007-11-13T23:24:00.001-08:00

Here I am, sober and stilled,
Open-eyed and wonder-filled,
As a cloud-born child weeps
O'er the pale-lit desert steeps.

"My heart's torn! is torn!" he cries-
A thousand sorrows from his eyes
Pour to soften the hardened earth,
And jar Jacob's dreams from birth.

Little Known Facts about Big Men

2007-11-12T18:30:00.000-08:00

George Washington: Father of America, military hero, ardent Christian

George Washington: Destroyer of Villages (name given him by Iroquois)

Washington had assumed that Sullivan would be on the march by early June and outlined the mission objectives for the "total destruction and devastation" of the Iroquois villages so "that the country may not merely be overrun but destroyed." The villages would be burned, the crops destroyed, and as many prisoners as possible to be taken as hostages to guarantee any settlement.

Washington warned Sullivan not to accept any offer of peace before "the total ruin of their settlements was effected." He feared that the Iroquois would "amuse" them with insincere peace proposals to spare their homelands. "Our future security," Washington wrote, would rest on the "Terror" inflicted upon them. He urged Sullivan to act aggressively and employ his men "in a loose and dispersed a way ... It should be impressed upon the upon the minds of the men where ever they have the opportunity to rush on with the war whoop and fixed bayonet, " to "discourage and terrify" their foes.

http://www.earlyamerica.com/review/1998/sullivan.html

worship

2007-11-07T17:10:00.000-08:00

i lift my gratitude,
the whole expressed
from every part;
the old and the new
of the life i've lived,
all, from the heart.

On Meaning

2007-10-31T00:13:00.000-07:00

If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.

-C.S. Lewis

The Yellow, Black Raven

2007-08-26T23:41:00.000-07:00

i once knew a certain black raven,
with a heart of yellow most craven.
when'er his nest was felled by a hawk,
he used his strength to squeal and to squawk,
but left none for fightin' or savin'.

and such are the subtle things in life

2007-06-07T00:04:00.000-07:00

an eyebrow slightly lifted,
not knotted but knitted,
is a gift - form-fitted -
for the dull, and dim-witted.

He is blameless

2007-05-22T01:19:00.000-07:00

God's goodness is proportional to His love

On Time

2007-04-24T18:54:00.000-07:00

The average man asks, "Can you tell me what time it is?"

The scientist asks, "What can time tell us?"

The philosopher asks, "Tell me, what is time?"

The wise man replies, "Only time will tell."

Remember

2007-03-04T07:47:00.000-08:00

we set out for the open road - and night falls
we’re reminded that we don’t know...which way to go
but soon we look up and see those stars
and we remember
yes, we remember

that our lives are like a river
that moves on so remember
and hold on through the turns

i recall the days when we were soft at heart
when love the wine, our lives the glass, wouldn't part
and now when life only gives me bitter
I remember

i remember the cold, green grass that night (with my brother)

i remember the bright, sharp flash of light (that was my father)

i remember the aching cries of love (from my mother)

i know now that we were not alone, no (there was Another)

and my life is like a river
that moves on so I’ll remember
to hold on through the turns
I won’t forget this...this river turns

*dedicated to my father, Frank Andrew Malone, who died 25 years ago this month

moments in SE Asia

2007-02-26T23:12:00.000-08:00

i look out and see the countryside - so open and spread out before me...a man is working out his livelihood in the green, green rice fields, a few cows are loitering listlessly about between the palm trees in the distance, a shepherd boy is briskly (but efficiently) encouraging his four-footed friends to find new pastures, and sunlight and shadow play a never-ending game of hide-and-go-seek. yes, life can still be enchanting.

-Feb. 9

moments in SE Asia

2007-02-20T08:51:00.000-08:00

Remains of the Day cont.

...as we came up (very slowly now) and made our way around Uncle Ho's outstretched corpse, I couldn' t help but pause and take in (with something akin to wonder) what I was seeing - each humbled person, with respect reaching something close to veneration, held their hands together and did obeisance at the glowing glass case before them--the case which (to them) housed the one who brought light to their darkened souls and life to their dead hearts; the one who brought equality where their was oppression and division, equinamity where there was injustice, and hope and salvation within where there was fear and opposition without. However, as important as I feel catching their sentiment is, I digress. The three of us, now slightly more at ease because one of us had made friends with a kind gentleman who relished the opportunity of getting to use his English with foreigners, viewed the body in turn and immediately headed for a taxi, recounting our adventure with amazement over and over again the whole way back to the hotel.

by the way, that priviledged procession of Vietnamese patriots, we found out later, was none other than a group of Park employees taking part in an annual, exclusive viewing of Ho Chi Minh's body...and incredibly enough, three foreigners had the unique opportunity to be a part of it!

moments in SE Asia

2007-02-14T23:02:00.000-08:00

Remains of the Day.

The three of us got up early in the morning and took a taxi into town to view Ho Chi Minh' s body (so strange). They wouldn't let us in at first so we walked around a bit and tried going in by another way. After a few minutes of ambling aimlessly about, we found ourselves walking towards the mausoleum with a large group of suits (we didn't know if they were employees or Party members). As we walked in that private procession, with little confidence that we would actually make it to the deceased dictator's body and every confidence that we would soon be found out and rudely rushed either to the nearest exit or the nearest Vietnam prison, :) the suits looked quizzically at us and we looked innocently (and a bit sheepishly) back at the suits, and amazingly, we moved on. With the rising sun in our faces and curious thoughts in our mind, fully dressed military men with impenetrable stares and impeccably white uniforms guarding the entrance and exits, and the "bearer of light" awaiting us all, we found our way in and up three flights of stairs to where Ho Chi Minh's body lay...

moments in SE Asia

2007-02-13T06:45:00.000-08:00

Dragon Slayers.

went out on a junk boat to Ha Long Bay in Hanoi today...and of the rock formations it has been said, "a dragon flew down from heaven to earth and landed in the Bay."

...as the five of them sailed slowly through those ancient waters, the great dragon lay sleeping beside and before them and, for a moment--in the unutterable stillness--they felt in their hearts the living out of their own epic.

the Tree of Truth

2007-02-10T02:15:00.000-08:00

A Response to Camus' L'Etranger

there is a tree of Truth planted in this world that stands tall and great; its titan trunk supports all of life as it branches out - now reaching up higher than the sun...now stretching out wider than the sky. yes, there is in this world a tree called Truth, and down (below the bottom of what we see) beyond the deep, below the bottom of the bottom of all things is the root - and that root is Love.

The Eleventh Commandment: Thou Shalt Be Consistent

2006-12-24T12:57:00.000-08:00

It disturbs me to hear so much of the Christian world saying, without reservation, that this tsunami was an act of God. And, to hear some Christian groups and the way they speak so nonchalantly, even coldly, about the death of 200,000 living, breathing, and loving people, is equally disturbing. I am not here to question anyone's Christianity but I am here to question their consistency. Is the message that we are giving to the world and the response that we are showing them consistent with the God that we serve?

My primary goal in this paper is not to attempt to deal with every question out there, but rather, to refute the presupposition that the Christian God was both the initator and the impetus of this great earthquake and subsequent tidal wave, and that it was He who brought this destruction as a judgment on the affected nations: Indonesia, Thailand, India, Sri Lanka, Burma and others.

What Happened?

Though many answers come to our minds, still, questions prevail in our hearts. Why did this happen? Why did so many people die? And real people too, not just a number or statistic, but thousands and thousands of mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews - so many precious lives swept up in a moment's time. Who or what caused this? Was it the Christian God? Was it Allah? Was it the Devil? Or was it merely the unfortunate effect of a dynamic and unstable earth? (Donald L. Hamilton, USANews). What really happened?

Was it the Christian God?

Though this horrible, horrible disaster has left us all with questions, my question is, how can so many followers of Jesus stand up and repeatedly say that Jesus, the Christian God, had a hand in this? Did Jesus of Nazareth really judge those 200,000 people who did not know their right hand from their left? Was it Jesus who killed all of those people that He died for? Isn't He the same today as He was yesterday? (Hebrews 13:8)

Most Christians are pointing to the Asian believers who were miraculously saved from death as evidence of God's (Jesus') judgment on the wicked. But I point to this same Jesus, and what He did on Calvary for the wicked, to be my strongest argument against this claim. All of our doubts about God's disposition towards mankind should have been laid to rest with His Son as He was placed in the tomb, and we should know by now that God is no longer imputing our sins against us, even though we deserve it, because of Jesus' mediation and sacrifice. (Romans 3:25; 4:15; 5:13; 1 Tim. 2:5,6; 1 John 2:1,2)

What About the Shielded Saints?

Those who are looking at the Christian survivors as a divine sign should not at the same time hold a blind eye to the Christians who actually perished in the same waters that took their Muslim, Hindu, and non-religious neighbors. And on top of that, those groups who cite the standing Christian churches as verifiable evidence that God's hand was involved, should not be silent about the Muslim mosques that went equally untouched (not to mention the fact that most of the churches and mosques were made out of iron or steel and cement).

What About Sodom and Gomorrah?

Inevitably, when there is a discussion on the subject of God's judgment in the earth, the dramatic story of Sodom and Gomorrah will be brought to the table. I, however, believe that this story does not weaken my argument, but rather, strengthens it. First of all, Sodom, Gomorrah, and the surrounding cities were entirely given over to evil; so much so that they gained a reputation of wickedness unmatched in all of history; a reputation that was known both on the earth and in the heavens. (Genesis 18:20,21) Secondly, God was willing to spare those cities for the sake of ten righteous people! (Genesis 18:32) And how many righteous people were living in the cities flooded by the tsunami? Lastly, though Abraham was allowed to be the mediator on behalf of the aforementioned places, Abraham is no longer the mediator between God and men, Jesus is. (1 Tim. 2:5) And that's good news!

In this story we don't see a God who is anxious to destroy two whole cities. On the contrary, we see a gracious and extremely patient God who, not only has not consumed them already, but has even sought out someone who will mediate on their behalf. (Genesis 18:17-20)

An Unstable Satellite

It should be evident to all people, regardless of perspective or opinion, that this place we call our home is far from perfect. As the saying goes: "Our world waxeth old." None of us need to be a scientist thoroughly aqcuainted with the laws of thermodynamics to see that things are not as they should be. The earth is like a fragile old woman whose groans, unfortunately, can be heard and felt by all us. (Romans 8:20, 22) Taken from a purely natural standpoint, we see that this tsunami was a result of a tremendous earthquake, which itself was a result of the earth's shifting tectonic plates. (NASA Details Earthquake - earthobservitory.nasa.gov) And while it can easily be argued that God has the ability to manipulate the earth and motivate the elements, I believe we can say just as easily that God is not behind every earthquake and storm that hits the planet. For example, did God raise the storm that Jesus rebuked?

To me, it is much more consistent to say that this tsunami was the result of a fallen world than to say that it was caused by the God whom we proclaim to be loving, kind, and good; the God that has made a new covenant with man--a covenant of peace and grace.

And Where Was God During all of This?

It is amazing to me how quickly our thoughts turn against God in times like these and how easily we are persuaded to see Him in the most negative possible light. The Bible clearly shows us that God no longer sees us as His enemy, with the peace offering of Jesus to prove it. The apostle Paul, in simple logic, poses the question that, if God gave us His only Son, then how could we ever doubt His fidelity and goodness to us in other matters? (Romans 8:31) Instead of automatically thinking, "God, why did you do this?" or, "How could you let this happen?" or, "Maybe God isn’t good." or even, "Maybe there really isn’t a God.", shouldn’t we at least give Him the benefit of the doubt? I mean, we do call Him our Friend and our Father. Wouldn't we give as much or even more to our earthly friends and family?

If one should read through the Bible and come across the stories of Abraham, Joseph, Esther, Jonah, etc. one would find a God who is consistently trying to save people from, not destroy people in, disaster. Even when it was His direct judgment on a nation He would always give them plenty of warning and plenty of time so that they might avoid the calamity through repentance.

Let's take the story of Joseph and the Egyptians. Did God know ahead of time that there was a great famine coming on the land? Isn't that one of the reasons why God raised up Joseph and set him over all of Egypt? Yes, and it is not just a reason, but it is one of the main reasons. (Genesis 45:5)

This and all the other stories show us, not an indifferent, absentee landlord, but rather, a caring, involved God who had been working behind the scenes to save both the Hebrews and the Egyptians from total starvation. Isn't it logical then to believe that this same God was doing the same things to help us prepare for and even avoid this catastrophe?

A Consistent, Christian Response

My friends, are we shedding on this dark and lonely world the same light that Jesus shed? Are we telling them that God loves His enemies and "is kind to the unthankful and evil."? (Luke 6:35) So much of the world, regardless of their beliefs, has responded with compassion and generosity to the thousands laid destitute by this nearly unprecedented natural disaster; to those once with homes, now homeless; to those once with children, now childless; to those once with fathers and mothers, now orphaned--to those who were once so rich, even with the little they had, now poor and overcome with many sorrows! Yes, this is the kind of response that's consistent with the nature and character of the God we know through Jesus.

"Ultimately, heartfelt tears shed in earnest and with compassion, with offerings of charity for those who have suffered, are more meaningful than any theological and philosophical treatise on the problem of evil." (Dr. Edward Spence, Philosopher at CSU)

God be with each of the hurting nations; in comfort by any man who has a heart, and in charity by any man who is willing to help.

(written 02/05)

a heart effulgent

2006-12-18T13:16:00.000-08:00

I want to be a man who feels! I want to live from an open heart! I want to take care to love more than anything else* in this world! I don't want to be blackened by the indifference of an uncaring soul!

I want Original to be my landscape and Fearless to be my brush! I want not a life painted in the grey, despondent hues of self-defeat and despair but, rather, in the vibrant colors of inspiration and Joy!

I want to be rich with the treasures of understanding and child-like awe; to see that Nature and Love string out their gifts like pearls before us and adorn our lives with Beauty.

(from Mahil's letters to Azalea - date unknown)
*e.e. cummings

Can hope be distilled from wormwood?

2006-11-29T06:33:00.000-08:00

Merry-meloncholy heart’s psalter-
song-singing irony--
Bitter-sweet songs like pale waters
still running violently--
Running along Jerusalem’s plains.

And the blood, the blood, oh how it stains!
Running along Jerusalem’s plains.
Now a flood! a flood! in full refrain,
Covering all Jerusalem's plains.

excerpt from "Undulations of Peace"

2006-11-24T22:22:00.000-08:00

She couldn’t feel her legs. She remembered back to when she was just thirteen—the time her mother told her she couldn’t get up until she had finished that impossible piece of music. (She tried to explain to her obdurate mother that Rachmaninoff was too difficult—even for a “precocious young girl” like herself.)

Her legs felt just the same then as they did now. She unconsciously began to hum the song – probably to distract herself from the screaming. She closed her eyes and her mother—as she was then—came before her. She saw her beautiful face and remembered—with nostalgia as unforgiving as it was poignant—the love that had permeated her home and filled her heart in its overflow. And then she began to weep, uncontrollably. She wept for the little things that only she and her mother knew and had shared together. She wept for the people in the next room, whose heart-wrenching cries, if she lived, would be with her the rest of her life. But most of all, she wept for him. She wept as she remembered the inimitable kindness in his smile and the simple but pure light in his eye for all things.

As the hours crept along in agony, she noticed how muddy everything was becoming inside of her. Her heart, more than her pounding head and tightly bound hands and feet, felt the torture and the pain of that moment. She was unable to brush away the blood and sweat from her face—but more than that—she couldn’t brush away the indignity that covered her soul.

chronicling murmurs

2006-11-04T07:17:00.000-08:00

Nothing and nowhere...I find myself sitting and gazing at a row of multicolored flags - all standing sentinel along an unknown city street. I wonder where the wind comes from; where does it begin and where does it end? and what is it about the flag that catches our eye and commands our heart's attention? Like a conquering military train turning heads and a resounding war bugle pricking up ears; what is it about a flying flag as it turns and rolls in the waves of that great, unseen current? do our souls feel the last ripple of some heroic battle from long ago? or are we catching the fading echo of ancient adventure, courage, and daring deed?

Look! the flag is fallen!
Fallen like a soldier on the blood-stained earth.
Who?! who will raise it then?
And hold it high! until our hearts reach heaven;
And hold it long, 'til our mettle meets our worth?

sans raison

2006-10-12T03:28:00.000-07:00

I Wake By Starlight

2006-08-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

i slept by twilight
and felt the godless grey;
i felt that godless grey
within me...

i wake by starlight
and hear the wind-swept waves;
i hear those wind-swept waves
calling me...

i'll stand at half-light
to see the dawning Day--
i'll see that dawning Day
upon me!

6 billion other people

2006-08-21T08:17:00.000-07:00

6,000,000,000. 3 commas. nine zeros.
That's a lot. And of those 6 billion or so, i was just imagining that somewhere...someone is probably discovering a great novel. someone is skydiving, and screaming the whole way down. someone is breaking up with someone else. someone is writing the answer on the chalk board, and cursing life. someone is watching the paint dry. someone is--to their mother’s horror and consternation--innocently jumping from the roof of their house using a sheet as a cape and Superman-thoughts for wings. someone is getting kicked in the shins...and discovering a new emotion. someone is getting up really, really early. someone is yelling for no good reason. someone else is listening. someone is watching the sun set in splendor, just beyond the interminably rolling hills. someone is definitely going to the bathroom. someone is sitting on the side of an eclectic, dirt-road thoroughfare, drinking chai tea with a friend, smiling and enjoying the variety of cows, passersby, and motor-vehicles moving between destinations. someone is speaking german. poorly. someone is laughing (and i mean a good laugh--one that comes from down deep in your belly and begins to roll over you in uncontrollable waves:). someone is watching their favorite movie. someone is rolling a joint--lounging, listless, and to his mind, lucid. someone is having a baby. someone is making babies! someone is debating--white or wheat? someone is looking at their watch and wondering about more than what time it is. someone is studying for a spelling bee. someone is being stung by a bee. someone is dreaming of being stung by a bee, while running at an agonizingly slow speed. someone is thinking the exact same thing that i am. someone is getting married. someone is repeating themselves. someone is repeating themselves. someone is riding the subway to nanjing road, unwittingly trespassing on a foreigner's precious personal space. someone is facing their fears. someone is dancing. alone. someone is smoking a cuban. someone is playing spin the bottle. someone is taking someone else’s life. someone is praying - while light from a Russian sun is breaking through an early morning fog and splashing the cathedral in its brilliance. someone is walking down to the nearest tienda. with a friend. someone is crafting a resume. someone is voluntarily listening to bob marley. someone is helping a homeless man. someone is being taught to hate. someone is moving. again. someone is writing a blog.

Lincoln's Laughter

2006-08-19T18:33:00.000-07:00

"Lincoln was the first true humorist to occupy the White House. No other President of the United States had come to be identified, for good or bad, with a relish for the comic . . . and some of his stories are certainly good . . . The Puritan familiarity without intention of irreverence we have in the camp story of the Colonel (reprinted in all American papers), who, hearing from his Baptist chaplain that there had been ten conversions in a rival regiment, exclaimed, 'Do you say so? Sergeant Jones! detail fifteen men of my regiment for immediate baptism.'
A California Republican, Cornelius Cole, called on business so tangled that it reminded Lincoln of a young Universalist preacher who came to Springfield. Three ministers of orthodox churches agreed "to take turns and preach this young fellow down." A Methodist preached the first sermon. "He commenced by telling his large congregation how happily they were all situated in Springfield. Launching into his sermon the Methodist shouted, 'And now comes a preacher preaching a doctrine that all men shall be saved. But, my brethren, let us hope for better things.'"
. . . The telegrapher Bates heard of Lincoln telling about a man going into an asylum and meeting a little old fellow who demanded a salute. 'I am Julius Ceasar.' The salute was given, the man went on his errand, and returned soon, and again the little fellow demanded a salute. 'I am Napoleon Bonaparte.' 'Yes, Napoleon, but a while ago you told me you were Julius Ceasar.' 'Yes, but that was by another mother!'"
-Carl Sandburg
(Abraham Lincoln: The Prairie Years and the War Years)

On Beauty-and The Idiot

2006-08-18T10:57:00.000-07:00

“My intention is to portray a truly beautiful soul”-Dostoevsky

I love and hate Fyodor Dostoevsky’s The Idiot. There is no urbane feeling in me when I think of the novel and of its hero, Prince Myshkin. Even the title itself, and its ironic significance, strikes me again and again and sets off in my mind the contrast, and I should say, for Dostoevsky--the paradoxical relationship, between light and darkness, wisdom and foolishness, beauty and poverty. I say I love it, and I do, because of its emotional power, its unforgettable characters, and its message of unconditional love; I also say I hate it...well, I can’t tell you why because I don't want to give away the ending! (but therein lies the mystery and the reason for my animus)

“Happy? You know how to be happy?” cried Aglaia. Then how can you say you didn’t learn to see things? You might teach us even.”

“At such moments I was sometimes overcome with great restlessness; sometimes too at midday I wandered on the mountains, and stood alone halfway up a mountain surrounded by great ancient resinous pine trees; on the crest of the rock and old mediaeval castle in ruins; our little village far, far below, scarcely visible; bright sunshine, blue sky, and the terrible stillness. At such times I felt something was drawing me away, and I kept fancying that if I walked straight on, far, far away and reached that line where sky and earth meet, there I should find the key to the mystery, there I should see a new life a thousand times richer and more turbulent than ours.” (p. 55)

“There is not one person here who is worth such words,” Aglaia burst out. “There’s no one here, no one, who is worth your little finger, nor your mind, nor your heart! You are more honourable than any of them, nobler, better, kinder, cleverer than any of them! Some of them are not worthy to stoop to pick up the handkerchief you have just dropped...Why do you humble yourself and put yourself below them? Why do you distort everything in yourself? Why have you no pride?” (p. 332)

“You want to change crosses? Certainly, Parfyon, I am delighted. We will be brothers!” Myshkin took off his tin cross, Parfyon his gold one, and they changed. (p. 214)

“From time to time Rogozhin began suddenly and incoherently muttering in a loud harsh voice, he began shouting and laughing. Then Myshkin stretched out his trembling hand to him and softly touched his head, hair, stroking them and stroking his cheeks...he could do nothing else! He began trembling again, and again his legs seemed suddenly to fail him. Quite a new sensation gnawed at his heart with infinite anguish. Meanwhile it had become quite light; at last he lay down on the pillow as though utterly helpless and despairing and put his face close to the pale and motionless face of Rogozhin; tears flowed from his eyes on to Rogozhin’s cheeks, but perhaps he did not notice then his own tears and was quite unaware of them.” (p. 594)

Throughout his novel, Dostoevsky shows us an uncommon understanding of Beauty and artfully paints us an image that, though not always pleasing, is altogether captivating.

When You are Old

2006-08-16T18:24:00.000-07:00

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with a love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

-W.B. Yeats

excerpts from the memoirs of W.P. Scranton...

2006-07-26T15:16:00.000-07:00

It is for posterity (and posterity only) that I take up my pen again. I will leave, for the generations, a small seed of myself. Yes, I am thinking (and I am lucid) only of the masses of men--that great, ever-living, breathing body of memory--in which I seek to plant a particle of my soul; not only that I may live eternally, but that Truth itself may stand up and say, "Truth!".

This is the aim, or goal, of my humble, yet unceasingly troubled, heart. I say troubled, not as the seas are troubled, for they churn greatly but unknowingly; but as Poseidon himself--a god (and his waters serve only as a mirror reflecting the disposition of his great soul)--is troubled over the matters concerning his watery dominion. Long live Poseidon! (and--though I am only saying this for your benefit, not mine--this is a metaphor for greatness and not the mythical Poseidon who ruled the seas and, by default, those who dared to traverse his domain.)

I will begin with Love. And where else should I begin but with the very thought whereupon hinges the hopes and dreams of every heart--the sustenance of the soul, the fuel of passion, the wings of desire! Love. Where was it said that, "All lives for Love."? (If it wasn't said, well, then it should have been, and in fact, has now). Ha ha! Who has given for Love and not lost all? Who has seen It and has not felt this sentiment, clouding all judgment, yet preserving innocence? Who has tasted from the Golden Cup and, though satisfied, thirsts evermore, even to madness?

I have tasted. I declare to all! Without shame, I declare to all who may comprehend: I Have Tasted! (Am I that mad that that madness should be mine?) See! And with this, as some of you know, the pen fails to make the true impression--only the Soul knows (and its prophets) of what I, and that rather deplorably, attempt to write...

written in the late 1800s:

2006-07-16T00:07:00.000-07:00

"For how can a man shake off his habits, what can become of him if he is in such bondage to the habit of satisfying the innumerable desires he has created for himself? He is isolated, and what concern has he with the rest of humanity? They have succeeded in accumulating a greater mass of objects, but the joy in the world has grown less. " - Tolstoy

I was young once, and bitter...

2006-07-11T21:59:00.000-07:00

who do you think you are orange moon?
it's not enough the tides dance for you?
and scarecrow's shadow's still true to form--fills
pilgrims' horn--
many Thanks consumed!
while i waited for the leaves of Autumn
you pilfered her heart like pirates' boon.

what are you staring at cruel moon?
haven't you anything better to do?
shining knight half-crazed on poets' praise--bright
light upraised
like a peacock plumed;
while she floated down ten leagues to bottom
you severed her smile from my heart's tune.

The Fly in Herb's Honey

2006-07-05T20:45:00.000-07:00

Would I be too brash,
Herb, to examine the expanse
just between the ears-
and determine the degree
of any man’s years-
of rationalized resistance
to take out the trash?

Who?

2006-06-07T05:59:00.000-07:00

Who takes the sun out as a lamp
And treads across the great expanse?
Who leads each host in numbered row,
Or bends the colours as a bow?

Who made the moon a pearl so white
And scattered diamonds in the night?
Who thought to make man an Atom
And space - so that none could fathom?

Scranton's "Ivory-White Goddess" Acquitted!

2006-05-04T06:31:00.000-07:00

In a not-so-unbelievable turn of events last Friday, "Ms. Jones" of San Diego, CA was exonerated of all charges brought against her by one W.P. Scranton.

According to reports, Friday's local courtroom case, Scranton v. Jones, digressed into what one person colorfully termed "a dadgum circus!", and what others labeled as, "lacking all decency and normal human behavior." Mr. Scranton was unavailable for comment, but was unmistakably heard screaming various obscenities and uttering unfathomable oaths as he was handcuffed and taken away in contempt of court.

"From the very outset, Mr. Scranton began revealing the interminableness of his eccentricities." reported Mr. Harrison, lawyer of Ms. Jones. After an exciting, and extremely full, hour of testimonies, the judge quickly called for a recess, but then, to everyone's (especially Mr. Scranton's) amazement, turned to the jury, and asked them if they needed any time to deliberate. The jury swiftly responded that they did not, and promptly declared Ms. Jones "very not guilty." Mr. Scranton was said to have been holding great tufts of hair (that of his own) in his hands and looking on in horror, as the spokesman called out the verdict.

It was at this point, according to many eye-witnesses, that Mr. Scranton lost all of his marbles. Reports vary as to exactly what he began to do, but one juror described it as "a dramatization of a farmer at his threshing floor. Don't ask me," he said, "but, from what he was saying, he must have been using that broom (and where he got the broom God only knows) as a fork to separate the chaff from the wheat." One lawyer who witnessed the scene had this to say of Mr. Scranton during his tirade: "He kept bemoaning the loss of Beauty--something about its innocence and purity...I don't know. Its difficult to say whether any of his words or actions had any sort of logical coherency, but one thing is for certain, he was certain, and full, of himself."

If not historic, Scranton v. Jones will definitely go down in the books as nothing short of hilarious.

-Shanghai Weekly

"sightseeing" cont.

2006-04-27T01:07:00.000-07:00

...I put this before you, the jury, to help decide her fate (although, technically, if its "fate" then it has already been decided.)

fate - an inevitable and often adverse outcome, condition, or end.

Ha, ha! Thank you for sealing my case Mr. Webster. I mean, look at the related synonyms, for crying out loud: Destiny, Lot, Portion, Doom. What else do I need to say?

You know, I almost feel sorry for her. Well, in an objective, principled, sort of way. But when the one who holds the winnowing fan fails to "winnow", what else is there but the white-heat of judgment?

W.P. Scranton

Shanghai sightseeing

2006-04-24T00:30:00.000-07:00

Name: W.P. Scranton. Age: Old enough. Occupation: Contemplating the lives of lesser mortals.

Take this man of the world for instance; with his brown suede hat, keen eye, and cosmopolitan air--with more places to go than the number of lines on his light brown suit...Or perhaps this ivory-white goddess; with hair as black as the black sand beaches of the Caribbean. Should she be blamed and punished for the innumerable innocents who have surely perished as a result of all the air being sucked out of rooms as men gasp at her beauty? Yes, she not only should, but she must.

And God said to Beauty
You are my Threshing Floor
The world's wheat is at your feet
To judge but not ignore

Now, I say this, not because she completely ignored my casual comment on the local coffee, nor do I say this because I knew she inwardly took pleasure in it. And I don't even say it because she looked at me as if I was "walking leprosy" when I offered to pay for her $5 drink. I say this because of justice.

*names and places have been ommitted to protect the ignorant :)

i don't want to live in the clouds...i want to live above them

2006-03-26T05:02:00.000-08:00

someday i'm gonna fly this chicken coop

On the Nature of life

2006-03-10T08:54:00.000-08:00

because of the somnambulate seed, swelling slightly, and sharing its secret with the earth...because of the fragile, flesh-hearted leaf force-feeling its way into a radiant amber glow...because of the tender, young sapling, stretching itself out with anxious ambition toward the red rising sun...because of the august, ancient cedar; its bitter-sweet smell still lingering in an apathetic afternoon air...because of a litany of little things you can't hold on to, now leaving tired, old limbs...because of the last, lone leaf, hurrying off in the twilight, to find its place of rest with the others...

orangesunshineisclearlyyellowtome

2006-03-09T22:58:00.000-08:00

why do little children laugh at the littlest things? why do i feel like the sun should be a great big orange that i can eat? why does my heart change from spark to flame when i see her? why can't we turn ourselves inside out? why isn't--why not--why? why do i want to marry the northern lights? what's a chimera? is she a chimera? why is this a question? why can't we take our science class field trip to andromeda? why do shorter wavelengths of light affect my retina as violet? why are you reading this? why are you still reading this? you're still reading. why? :)

On seeing the reviews and previews of "Brokeback Mountain"

2006-01-31T14:33:00.000-08:00

The world is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod. And for all this, (His love) is never spent;

There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs --
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

-Gerard M. Hopkins
"God's Grandeur" (parenthesis mine)

If you're reading this post and are struggling with this lifestyle I just want to say that God loves you and He doesn't love me anymore than He loves you. And, if you have ever put your trust in Him then He is still your Father but its up to you to decide whether or not what you feel inside you is really your conscience (telling you what's right and wrong) or just a product of living in this "morally conscious" society. We are rational beings. Let's look at some of the facts:

1) Biologically - to reproduce you need a man and a woman (even without a biblical interpretation of this fact the evidence does not favor homosexuality)

2) Spiritually - the Scriptures (both Testaments) speak against it directly (Leviticus 18:22; 1 Corinthians 6:9,10)

3) Emotionally/Psychologically -

30% of gay and bisexual adolescent males attempt suicide at least once[10]
83% of adolescent lesbians use alcohol, 56% use other drugs, and 11% use crack and/or cocaine[11]
68% of adolescent gay males use alcohol, 44% use other drugs[12]

[10] Remafedi, Gary, et al. “Risk Factors for Attempted Suicide in Gay and Bisexual Youth,” in Pediatrics, 1991.

[11] Hunter, Joyce, et al. Unpublished research by the Columbia University HIV center for Clinical and Behavior Studies, 1992.

[12]ibid

If these stats are really true (there's no reason for them not to be seeing as they came from a pro-homosexual article) then I truly feel for you. This doesn't seem like a very happy and satisfying life. Now, I know there are a lot of Christians out there drinking and selling all kinds of Hatorade when it comes to homosexuality but if you think about it, that is really a peripheral issue. The real issue today, right now, is are you doing what He thinks is right, not what you think is right? Do you have peace in your heart? Do you wake up in the morning excited about life? Or is your life characterized by these statistics? You can't continue to violate your conscience (not to mention biological and spiritual laws) and think that you will lead a happy life. I'm not looking for a way to pour my hate on you, I'm trying to talk to you simply, as a friend.

I know there are many who will read this and defenses and flags will fly--keeping them from seeing any of my points because they are caught in fighting for "The Great Cause" of the homosexual. And they will go on fighting for the cause and ignoring and suppressing the greater emptiness that's in their hearts. And there are many who will read this and defenses and flags will fly--keeping them from seeing any of my points because they are caught in fighting for "The Great Cause" against the homosexual. And they will go on fighting for the cause and ignoring and suppressing the greater emptiness that's in their hearts. Yes, there are a lot of Christians that are just as empty as the homosexual that they are preaching at.

law of diminishing returns...

2006-01-28T14:45:00.000-08:00

law stating that if one factor of production is increased while the others remain constant, the overall returns will relatively decrease after a certain point. Thus, for example, if more and more laborers are added to harvest a wheat field, at some point each additional laborer will add relatively less output than his predecessor did, simply because he has less and less of the fixed amount of land to work with. The principle, first thought to apply only to agriculture, was later accepted as an economic law underlying all productive enterprise.

they tell me there there is a field that can never be exhausted...a field that is not subject to our laws...a field that, though we multiply ourselves and our wrongs exponentially, will not decrease by one grain...and they tell me His love is constant as the northern star...

her heart's a coat of many colors

2006-01-25T14:27:00.000-08:00

american mystery...what color would you be--what color would those stars turn if the salient sun burned the clouds and bellowed loud a glory brimming over, full of our might, our mistakes, and all our red-ruptured heartaches? to sing our story under an aqua-marine blue-green canopy screen, with silvery silver strips like trumpets tipped to the heavens, and shout out the bars of how those white-whigged stars looked on, heedless of the sorrow-stained skies, and all at once fell headlong--like a madman--a rushing redman--and ran red, gushing, bleeding a trail of tears from all our eyes? and this blood in time would become a red-mud mulatto flood (see the Mississippi river) surrounding the piebald trees (cross the taker and the giver), somehow enriching maroon roots way down deep (how those white-hooded stars will shiver), down in the brown ground of our hearts...

to raise up a coat of many colors.

and if they said history comes from color, then who was red white and blue's mother? and will this coat of many colors--yes, they say her heart is a coat of many colors--say, "come red, call the red beating drum (while mothers weep for their sons) heart; and come blue, second to none! (yet unable to know all we've done) heart; and come purple, the earth bows down, yes, the east, west and all the seas come and bow down to meet these and...

to gaze on our coat of many colors.

shanghai status:

2006-01-24T22:33:00.000-08:00

singing.

The Chinese truly have themselves a beautiful language. The fact that meaning is derived from, or based on, tone is absolutely incredible. Just like a song or a dance is based on the sequential order and precise production of certain notes or steps, so the Chinese language cannot be performed or understood without the sequential order and precise production of its 4 fundamental tones (with variations ad infinitum). You don't know how much this helped me when I actually got it. Let me put it this way: If you wrote a song and I came up to you and tried to sing your song but made up my own melody, how would you react? Probably by making a weird face and saying, "What's wrong with you?" Or, the same way the Chinese react to me when I attempt to speak to them, "Ting bu dong." (lit. I hear you but I don't understand you).

*the correct title of this blog should actually be "learning to sing". :)

Allo!

2005-11-07T00:25:00.000-08:00

Je voudrais ecrire un peu en francais. Je ne sais pas beaucoup mais c'est la vie! (pas vraiment, c'est ma faute). Le monde est une fraise. Je n'en connais pas la raison mais c'est vrai. J'aime manger les fraises ergo J'aime manger le monde. :)

Au revoir!

:sutats iahgnahs

2005-11-03T22:55:00.000-08:00

sdrawkcab

begin? ssendam siht lliw nehw !yadirF gnitah dna yadnoM gnivol flesym dnif neve I .yas ot hcum evah t'nod tsuj slrig eht dna yltnatsnoc gniklat era syug eht llA .sgel ym revo strihs dna daeh ym revo gniog era stnaP .thgin ta tuo semoc nus eht dna yad eht ni flesti swohs noom ehT backwards. smees efil ym ni gnihtyreve semitemoS

:)

2005-10-26T00:56:00.000-07:00

-To me, it's always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?," you can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
-I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large shrimp. That way, you could ride him, then after you camped at night, you could eat him. How about it, science?
-If you're a cowboy, and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
-It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight.
-Why do the caterpillar and the ant have to be enemies? One eats leaves, and the other eats caterpillars. Oh, I see now.
-You know one thing that will really make a woman mad? Just run up and kick her in the butt. (P.S. This also works with men.)
-If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have to say.
-Here's a good trick: Get a job as a judge at the Olympics. Then, if some guy sets a world record, pretend that you didn't see it and go, "Okay, is everybody ready to start now?"
-Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
-It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
-In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.
-If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it's not.
-As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
-A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."
-The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

shanghai status:

2005-10-24T01:27:00.000-07:00

sentimental.

a harsh winter's morn--
one sleeps in his chariot
and one in his sleigh

"Sunny days / chasing the clouds away..."

2005-10-23T05:12:00.000-07:00

cosmos - 1: an orderly harmonious systematic universe.

chance - 1 a: something that happens unpredictably without discernible human intention or observable cause. b: the assumed impersonal purposeless determiner of unaccountable happenings: Luck c: the fortuitous or incalculable element in existence

science - 1 a : the state of knowing : knowledge as distinguished from ignorance or misunderstanding 2 a : a department of systematized knowledge as an object of study b : something (as a sport or technique) that may be studied or learned like systematized knowledge 3 a : knowledge or a system of knowledge covering general truths or the operation of general laws especially as obtained and tested through scientific method b : such knowledge or such a system of knowledge concerned with the physical world and its phenomena : NATURAL SCIENCE4 : a system or method reconciling practical ends with scientific laws

logic - 1 a (1) : a science that deals with the principles and criteria of validity of inference and demonstration : the science of the formal principles of reasoning

-Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

"Which one of these things does not belong? Which one of these things is not like the other?"

shanghai status:

2005-10-19T01:36:00.000-07:00

serendipitous.

Brisk,
shuffling feet-
paths
crossing, meet.

shanghai status:

2005-07-08T01:46:00.000-07:00

sincere.

You know, at certain times I can't tell whether I like kids or not, but I can always tell whether or not they like me.

simple love and truth

2005-05-07T14:19:00.000-07:00

"How it happened he did not know. But all at once something seemed to seize him and fling him at her feet. He wept and threw his arms around her knees. For the first instant she was terribly frightened and she turned pale. She jumped up and looked at him trembling. But at the same moment she understood, and a light of infinite happiness came into her eyes. She knew and had no doubt that he loved her beyond everything and that at last the moment had come....
They wanted to speak, but could not, tears stood in their eyes. They were both pale and thin; but those sick pale faces were bright with the dawn of a new future, of a full resurrection into a new life. They were renewed by love; the heart of each held infinite sources of life for the heart of the other."
-Fyodor Dostoevsky (Crime and Punishment)

"...I hope that simple love and truth will be stronger in the end. I hope that real love and truth are stronger in the end than any evil or misfortune in the world."
-Charles Dickens (David Copperfield)

The Earth - Sinister

2005-04-27T14:51:00.000-07:00

For the 200,000 plus who perished in the tsunami

The silent Earth - sinister,
Now quakes in laughter,
And spreads its wicked smile
Mile after mile.

Inconsolable Father,
Where is your daughter?
And where's her winning smile?!
Love's little smile!

-written after the 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake

Questions, questions, questions...

2005-04-26T21:16:00.000-07:00

What is the distance in round meters between the sun and oranges?

Who wakes up the sun when it falls asleep on its burning bed?

Does the earth sing like a cricket in the music of the heavens?

Is it true that sadness is thick and melancholy thin?

-Pablo Neruda (The Book of Questions)

What color bleeds from your spirit?

Did Jesus ever step on an ant?

Is the young hyena insecure about its laugh?

How can roses grow in cemetaries with utter indifference?

What is the value of a thimble-full of pure joy?

-Prague :)

On watching "The Pianist"

2005-04-20T22:36:00.000-07:00

Here's a small dedication:

Frozen Jews
Avrom Sutzkever
July 10, 1944

Have you seen, in fields of snow, frozen Jews, row on row? Blue marble forms lying, not breathing, not dying.

Somewhere a flicker of a frozen soul - glint of fish in an icy swell. All brood. Speech and silence are one. Night snow encases the sun.

A smile glows immobile from a rose lip's chill. Baby and mother, side by side. Odd that her nipple's dried.

Fist, fixed in ice, of a naked old man: the power's undone in his hand. I've sampled death in all guises. Nothing surprises.

Yet a frost in July in this heat - a crazy assault in the street. I and blue carrion, face to face. Frozen Jews in a snowy space.

Marble shrouds my skin. Words ebb. Light grows thin. I'm frozen, I'm rooted in place like the naked old man enfeebled by ice.

Why Anything?

2005-04-19T16:27:00.001-07:00

Why is there something rather than nothing?

-Bede Rundle (and, as Mircion has correctly pointed out, many others:)

Possibly the greatest philosophical question of all time...Why anything? Why you? Why the illimitable universe? Why the diminutive atom? Why is there a rose in this great garden? and all "the dearest freshness deep down things"? (GM Hopkins) Why do you see? Beauty? and, each morning, "Dawn's rose fingers touch the sky"? (Homer) Why do you hear? the poetry of Music? and the music of Poetry? Sound? the Voices of one another? the Wind? Why do we feel in our hearts? Hope? and, at moments, are sent into "boundless vistas of light"? (Tolstoy) Why Family? Friends? Memories? History? Pain? Why this searching in our minds and this longing in our hearts? Why are we not unintelligent beasts? wandering about in darkness - ignorant even of our own ignorance? Why not nothing?

From what root did all this life spring from? (The Thin Red Line)

just testing

2005-04-18T14:21:00.000-07:00

this is a test of the emergency blogging system. if this was not a test it would not say that it was a test.